Monday, April 25, 2016


Ah, tradition...

Added Colour. (Malt extract)
Head Enhancer (Yeast)
Anti-foam  (Hop)

I'm sure there's more.

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

On allergens.

Worst. Pint. Ever.
So, all this allergen labelling eh? We get asked (mainly in relation to CAMRA festivals) to make statements about our beer, allergen-wise.  As we all (should) know, there's now a "requirement for allergen information to be provided for foods sold non-packed or prepacked for direct sale".  This means beer, and applies to us.

Just the other day Becky was asked if isinglass needed declaring - she was being polite on the phone while I was in the background muttering "not fecking relevant", etc. That said,  I recently saw a cask from a local brewer labelled (with enthusiastic, but ill-informed, candour) "Gluten (barley), Gluten (wheat), Fish (isinglass), Sulphur Dioxide" and more.

So, and bearing in mind that I'm not a trading standards officer (or a lawyer), here's the way (we think) it works:

There are 14 allergens that might need declaring:
Cereals containing gluten (that'll be your Barley, wheat, oats etc.)
BUT NOT "Gluten" itself, although you might want to clarify the situation by stating, for example,
Malted barley (gluten)
BUT NOT  wheat and barley based glucose syrups or maltodextrin. 

Crustaceans and products thereof.
Relevant? We don't use chitin based finings, but if you do...

Egg and products thereof.
Anyone putting eggs in beer anymore? We don't.

Fish and products thereof
BUT NOT fish gelatine or Isinglass used as a fining agent in beer and wine.
OK? Because there's no evidence it's ever caused a problem for anyone.

Peanuts (I'm tired of writing "and products thereof", but yes, those too).


Including lactose, but not lactitol
Oh, by the way, Lactic acid isn't produced from milk.

Because peanuts aren't nuts.
See here.

Celery, Mustard, Sesame seeds

Sulphur dioxide / sulphites
BUT ONLY when at concentrations of more than 10 mg/L, which you shouldn't have in beer anyway.

I thought that was just plain poisonous?

(including squid ink - I'm looking at you, HardknottDave)

Here's the reference.

So what should that sticker on that cask have said? Well, if that's how the brewer chooses to pass on the allergen info, then "Made with Barley, Wheat" would probably have done it.  We just say it on our website.*

And does anyone need to declare / label Isinglass? No. Isinglass finings in beer are specifically excluded from the labelling requirement. You may wish to inform the consumer, but please don't say it's an allergen, because it's not.

And what has this got to do with Gluten Free beers?  If they're made with barley and wheat, but processed to remove gluten then you'll still have to label for those grains, but you'd also be able to label them "Gluten Free".
But don't say something like "Barley (gluten)  Gluten Free" - that's confusing, and the point of labelling is NOT to confuse the consumer.

*and, of course, on our bottle labels.

requirement for allergen information to be provided for foods sold non-packed or prepacked for direct sale - See more at:
requirement for allergen information to be provided for foods sold non-packed or prepacked for direct sale - See more at:
requirement for allergen information to be provided for foods sold non-packed or prepacked for direct sale - See more at:
requirement for allergen information to be provided for foods sold non-packed or prepacked for direct sale - See more at:

Friday, September 04, 2015

Cows, magic beans, etc.

A cash cow on a hill of beans, earlier.
"Dad! Dad! Tell us about the brewpooch shares and the Asset Matcher, please?"
"I'm sorry kids," said the nice Woodsman, "that's far too complicated a story for your young heads,  but I'll tell you the story of the cows and the beans. And then you must go to sleep, you rascals."
"Once upon a time, a group of feeble-minded sons of poor widows agreed to meet up.  It so happens that they'd all swapped cows for magic beans. Now, some of those widow's sons had many more magic beans than they knew what to do with, while others felt that more beans would be a good thing and so brought additional cows with them to the meeting, in the hope of making more swaps.  So the meeting hall filled up with sons, cows and beans. And the doors were barred.

"Inside the hall (we're told) many swaps were made, many cows and beans changed owners, and everybody had a lovely time.  Some, who on that far-off day when they'd first heard of the magic beans, had only one cow, now had two cows!  Everybody felt they'd done well, and everyone expected to live happily ever after.

"The End."

The nice Woodsman stood up and snuffed the candle, "Now, you two, snuggle down and off to sleep"

"But Dad! What about the beans? Were they really magic?"

The woodsman shook his head, "We'll never know, for the widow's sons and all their cows and beans are all locked in the meeting hall, to this day".

"Good night!"

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

making beer is easy

"Thing is, making beer is easy." He knocked his glass emphatically against the looming t-bar. Ignoring the gaffer's raised eyebrow he slurred on, "This stuff, all this lit-up bollocks, all this marketing shite, dressing it up. There's nothing to making beer. Piece of piss. Easiest job I ever had. I mean, what do we do? It's just cooking isn't it? Not f-ing haute cuisine. Big pan of veggie soup is all. My gran used to make yoghurt in her airing cupboard. Same thing really. Rubbish at cakes. Lovely pastry. Shortcrust. Makes you wonder how so many people fuck it up. Other hand, some of it is on another fecking level."

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Lest we forget (another one)

As it was.

As it is now.

Now OK, it's only because the new one defaults to "newest comments first". Perhaps there was no intention to hide some comments below the fold. You decide.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Key brewery staff.

You're all rabbits to us.
A misdirected press release marked "for the attention of lazy churnalists" came to our attention recently. 

"We plan to market our beers as great tasting craft beers" said PR hack Billy Bigarms, "I've been doing this kind of shit for years, talking up useless dreck, and kissing the arses of absolutely anyone who might get me ahead"

"Friends?" He laughed, "I have no friends, but I've made loads of contacts over the years. I suppose you could call me a psychopath - Don't get me wrong, I'll do a favour for anyone, anyone who can scratch my back in return!"

Billy's partner, 198-year-old virgin's blood bather and corporate vampire Trisha Alucard nodded, "There are many people who owe us favours. It's time for us to call some of those favours in. For instance, we have people who will make the beer for us, but frankly, that's a detail." 

"Brewers and consultants are ten a penny. We may buy them, or, if it amuses me, I'll turn them." 

She laughed, "No, but seriously, I have access to capital sources that most start-up businesses couldn't even dream of." She paused and the point of her tongue touched her perfect teeth for a heartbeat. 

"We will, of course, be crowdfunding, not so much for the money, but more to give the cattle an opportunity to invite us in, as it were."

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Have a pop at Jon here.

Go on, you know you want to. Comments are open. Referring to this of course. But if there's anything you'd like to get off your chest, to my face (well, virtually) go for it. It'll be good for you. "Better out than in", my Grandma always said.
new heights of passive-aggression