Sunday, June 19, 2011

Here's a funny thing.

This a keg returner. See, if you've got an empty old keg, or even a part-full one, you could fill it up with slops and then re-pressurise it. After that, I suppose you could sell it. Perhaps you could even sell watered beer. But who'd do such a thing?

It's just a big funnel screwed onto a slightly modified coupler. I'm sure there are legitimate uses for such an item. I just can't figure out what they might be.

Of course, similar devices are available for filtering back into cask.


Jeff Pickthall said...

It's a bit Wizard of Oz

Birkonian said...

I've actually seen cannned lager poured into a keg for re-sale. The top fitting of the keg can or used to be removable with the help of a large wrench. Of course it's easier with cask. Just take one funnel and some filter papers. Still going on I can assure you.

StringersBeer said...

Remember kids: Unqualified persons should never attempt to remove the valve/extractor assembly from a keg.
If the keg is not fully depressurised, parts may be shot at high speed into your head.

Neil, Eating isn't Cheating said...

Please don't take this the wrong way, but, what exactly are you tyring to achieve with this post? This certainly isn't going to get anybody into drinking beer, are you just saying that this does happen? Or merely that its possible? Either way, what does that achieve?

It's strange, as a seller of beer, that you're making me not particularly want to drink any!

StringersBeer said...

Neil, there are some (a few) beer retail establishments that are crap. There is equipment available to make the crap vendors life easier, and to increase the margin on beer slightly. Typically, none of this equipment will be used in better establishments. Your good pub sells good beer, with a sensible margin, fast enough not to need this kind of gizmo.

I don't believe it's my job to make people want to drink beer per se. Just good beer, in good pubs.

Of course, it's not just beer that the unscrupulous handle in this manner. And it's not just in retail. Many years ago, I was temping in London, and had a few days work in a bonded warehouse. Seems someone had a big load of rubbish white wine (in boxes) that was (a) old and (b) a funny colour. So I and a bunch of others were given white cotton gloves, a stanley™ knife apiece and pointed at (1) a mountain of wine boxes and (2) a big trough.

Our mission (we decided to accept it) was to slash the boxes with the stanley™ knife and allow the contents to fall into the trough, from which the slightly brown "wine" was pumped off to a secret location to be decolourised and repackaged.

Of course, after a few hours we'd all managed to cut ourselves a few times and our once pristine gloves were stiff with dried blood. The blood that hadn't dripped into the "wine", that is. I've tended to steer clear of cheap plonk ever since.

Neil, Eating isn't Cheating said...

So what your saying is that people should avoid crap pubs because they might be using contraptions like the one shown?

StringersBeer said...

I avoid crap pubs because they'll often have crap beer. How exactly they go about making their beer crap probably varies from place to place. Someone is making a living designing and selling these abominations - so I guess some people are using them.