Brewing the Bigger Beer

Or as The Dictators put it in their top ditty "Faster and Louder":

...Speaking as a young artiste who has so much to say
So now you know my situation
understand my aggravation
building up so strong inside
cause I wanna make some noise
[...]
I can live
Faster and louder
I'm a man
Faster and louder

(You might be able to check out the track here...)

So, how do we do the Big Bottomed, or Fuller Figured beer (if you'd rather)?
Well (and perhaps I shouldn't be giving away secrets like this - but imagine me as a sort of Penn Jillette of the magic circle of beer - only with less talent), we put more stuff in. That's it. That's all there is to it.
In fact, it's even easier than that. Because we put so much stuff in - we end up with a stronger beer. Two things are well known about strong beers:

1. Beer geeks like them.
2. People can't drink much of them.

So the Bigger Beer gets lots of attention, and we don't have to make a lot of it.

Even better than that, it's not absolutely essential to pay the usual attention to balance, or for that matter - anything. Since we can market the Bigger Beer as extreme or transgressive or category-busting, we'll find it hard to miss the mark. We make it. That's what it's supposed to be like.

But what if it's too hoppy, too malty? Too bitter or syrupy? It can't be. See?
There's people out there who will love it. Bless them, they probably talk about the saltiest meal they ever had.

Lots of people will hate it. But those unfortunates (with all their taste receptors) can stick to session beers. The future belongs to the hard of tasting with the armoured palates.

So what do you fancy? An Imperial Black IPA? A trippel hopmonster Stout? Let me go and throw some stuff in a bucket and I'll tell you which it is - when it's done.

Actually, the next one we're doing is a 7% pale ale with a bunch of Centennial and Amarillo in it.  Not too much I hope. Notes of pine, orange and rose, with lawns a-mowing in the distance.  A bittersweet base, like the last hot Sunday afternoon of a childhood holiday - you'll never see the other kids again. Should be ready at the start of Sept.