Monday, August 08, 2011

Glass v. Plastic debate. Don't get me started.

Vegans should look away now.

The only important thing is that the milk is good, right? Pasteurised, homogenised, filtered, who cares?

As it happens, we prefer South Lakes Organic.

It's about the cows.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Stringers announces Bezzy Mate Program.

We're pleased to announce the Stringers "Bezzy Mate" initative. For a single one-off payment of 93 quid you can get with the program.

But what exactly do you get with the program?

The exclusive (shared with all other members of the program) right to call yourself our "Bezzy Mate"!

A photo of us (supplied in a digital format) with space for you to photoshop yourself in!

A receipt! (Or VAT invoice if required)

Discount at all our bars!

The undying Respect of your peers!

Etc...

Friday, July 15, 2011

Wine? Pah!

I dunno but what Hardknott Dave seems to have got himself up a bit of a dead end on his Wine v. Beer thing. "What about wine's sense of place?", say the wine buffs. "Oooh, you've got us there", we're all supposed to say, before returning to our grimy sheds to slop out a few more buckets of scummy old beer.

Thing is, it's just not so. Commodity wine has managed to partake somewhat in the glory of the truly good stuff. This is nonsense. Affordable varieties of plonk (or even some quite pricey numbers) knocked up in some booze factory out of a few lorryloads of grapes from here and there, sugar, glycerine, tree bark, enzymes, fishguts, crab-shells, preservatives and colour, somehow get thought of (wrongly) in the same way as some remarkable, lovingly-crafted masterpiece of oenology.

Contrariwise for beer.

Tosh, I say. Also, Pah!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Fussy, elitist and overcomplicated?

Many thanks to Velky Al For drawing our attention to this little gem by Keir Graff in Timeout/Chicago
Beer doesn’t have to be fussy, elitist and overcomplicated.
That’s what wine is for.
Beer should be for the rest of us: affordable, easy to enjoy, thirst slaking and confidence restoring.
Read the piece here.

Incidentally, why was all the glassware in Star Trek so obviously difficult to drink out of? I know that Jim is swigging from the bottle here, but even the glasses were mental. Why was that? Huh?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Retired? Comfortably Well Off? CAMRA cares what you think.

Good News Everyone!
CAMRA is looking for 60 members who are not CAMRA Volunteers, but do not reject the idea of becoming active within the campaign, to participate in some Focus Groups at the Great British Beer Festival.

These sessions will take place on Wednesday 3rd and Thursday 4th August 2011 at Earls Court and will only take about 90 minutes. You will only be required to participate one of the sessions.

So, if you're not doing anything else (like working or caring), and you can afford to get yourself to London (or are already in London) - CAMRA wants to hear from you. Sheesh. Who's idea was this?

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Awesome Beard

I've been transferring the latest batch of our completely boss big ol' stout "Mutiny" to cask. We'll hang on to it for a few months before it's ready to go out into the world. It's such an AWESOME beer, I spontaneously grew this AWESOME beard - just from the fumes! Imagine what it'll do to you! You'll all turn into super-bad werewolves or something.

Also, I have a crudely photoshopped, but OUTRAGEOUS, Snake Plissken eyepatch. That's how much PASSION we put in.


Concerned readers please note: it's not a real beard.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Economics of beer wastage in line cleaning.

First, a few disclaimers: I'm not an accountant. I'm not a publican. I'm not a cellar technician. I'm not a lawyer. There's a whole heap of things that I'm not.

I illustrated the keg returner the other day, the "legitimate" use of such things is advanced as enabling the recovery of those few pints that would be otherwise lost during line cleaning.

The line that carries the beer from the "cellar" to the tap contains an appreciable amount of beer For 3/8in tube it's something like 30mL per metre, I think. (while we're mixing imperial and SI units, that's about 10mL each foot of 6.3mm ID line. More in the wider stuff traditionally used for cask) There's various devices along the way that also hold a bit (chillers, fob detectors, pumps, etc). Typically, this volume would be lost when line-cleaning is undertaken, i.e. as water or cleaning solutions displace it from the system.

A number of gizmos are on the market which offer to save this wasted beer. Some divert it into a little sealed vessel attached to the system, from which it can be reintroduced into the line after cleaning - of course, that little bottle will need cleaning at some time - but this doesn't seem like an entirely bad idea. Some cleverly disconnect the beer supply (keg) near the end of a session, while allowing you to sell what's already in the line. Some (for cask) allow the line contents to run (slowly) back into the container after the session - although this would leave the line dry, which may not be such a good idea. In other systems, the beer leaves the dispense equipment - into a bucket perhaps, and is manually reintroduced to the container - these are the ones that look distinctly dodgy to me. You'd definitely want to be sure that Customs & Excise / Trading Standards / Environmental Health aren't going to pounce on you.

Even ignoring effects on beer quality - although I suspect that they might be significant - and while we're very much in favour of line-cleaning, there's something troubling about this whole thing: If you have a look at any of the marketing material for these devices, they'll always have a "cost saving" example worked out. They always base this on the selling price of the wasted beer. You waste two pints that you could have sold at £3 each, that's 6 quid income lost, per line, per week! Right? See what an earner this gizmo (and the time spent operating/cleaning it) could be!

As I said, I'm not an accountant, but surely you're not saving any more than the shortage cost (principally restocking cost) of the beer? You'll just buy 2 pints more beer from your supplier. I realise beer that's in the cellar (and hooked up) has to carry some share of the overheads - but not as much as beer that's made it into a glass. Surely?

I know that some tenants have an allowance for line-cleaning effectively built in to their business arrangements. In which case recovering that beer really does generate (not very much) extra income - but only by selling (potentially) damaged goods as new. Which really can't be a good idea. Can it?